Sunday, February 10, 2013

It's all my Fault

<p>&lt;p&gt;Apparently its all my fault. Everything. I made you loose your job. I made you go PSYCHO. I'm the reason you're loosing your relationship with your own daughter. Yes. Maybe i did contribute to our relationship going bad, but who'd i learn that from? You.&nbsp; You're the one that favors the little ones. You're the one that expects me to come to you. I'm sixteen. I shouldn't be the parent in this situation. Why is my room messy? Hmm..wonder who i learned that from. Considering you're pretty much a damn hoarder. Thinking of you makes my stomach sick. And you wonder why I'm closer to other figures in my life. It's because i never had one. I have role models in my life that i would love to live with and be my mother. But I would hate myself if i was to treat my daughter like you treat me. I will HATE myself if i become like you. Like, do you care? Does it occur to you that you're making my life more miserable than it already is? That's not fair. But when we talked and argued,  you pointed fingers at me. Everything was my fault.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Every little thing.

Have you ever been so in love with someone, that you fall in love with the little things about them? The way they look when they are thinking, or focusing on something. The way their face lights up when they talk about something they absolutely love. The way they talk to other people, their facial expressions and their hand gestures. And just the looks they give you. The way they smile and laugh with you. The look in their eyes before they lean in to kiss you. When they run their hands down your arms and lock their fingers with yours. And oh, the goosebumps and butterflies they gave you. When they pull you into a hug and you feel all their muscles relax and yours do too, because in that moment, everything is utterly perfect and you feel so safe. And when you catch yourself looking at them, wondering what they are thinking. You are not only in love with their and personality, you're in love with their soul, every fiber of their being. And just the way they exist amazes you. It fascinates you, and you want to know every little thing about them...


Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Scary feeling

It’s scary to find someone that makes you happy. You start giving them all of your attention because they’re what makes you forget everything bad that is going on in your life. They’re the first person you want to talk to in the morning and the last one before you sleep just so you can start and end your day with a smile. It all sounds great to have that someone, but its scary to think about how easily they could just leave and take that happiness away too when they go. Its worrying to think that they're the reason for your happiness. But it takes trust. Trust to know that person won't. And that's where most relationships go wrong. 


Friday, October 12, 2012

Stars.

           My daddy used to tell me to look up when I felt like crying, because it keeps the tears from falling. So tonight I will count the stars. Tonight, i will lay and wish you were by my side laying with me. For every star i will label on a reason why I fell in love with you. When I run out of stars, i will sleep. I will dream. Dreaming of soft dreams of you. My dreams will consist of you and i at our wedding day. Friends, family attend. Me looking beautiful in long, white, elegant dress. The lace bring a perfect touch to my bright green eyes. Walking toward the alter, sand between the toes. My father pulling the vail over my head to uncover my water filled eyes. Give him a kiss then turn around. Looking at my handsome Groom, tears. They run from my eyes. Thinking to myself,  I never thought this day would be here. Marrying the man i love. It amazes me. Our relationship amazes me. Perfect day with my perfect groom. The waves so calming. The sounds of the family and friends sobbing, makes me even cry more. I look down the isle, there's rose petals. For every rose petal, they represent the stars I counted that one night.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

The Truth About Life


Hi everybody, This was something I wrote maybe like a year ago? I just thought I'd share it!  

Sometimes theirs things in your life that aren't meant to stay. Sometimes change may not be what we want. Sometimes change is what we need. And sometimes, saying good bye is the hardest thing you'll ever have to do.But sometimes saying hello again, breaks you down and makes you the most vulnerable person you'll ever know. Sometimes change is too hard to bear, but sometimes change is the only way of saving your life. Lets face it. We've changed. We've all changed. Somewhere between summer ending and school starting. We've gone into our own directions. Hearts were broken, friends were diminished. New love started and new people came into our lives. We no longer spend time in our little circle of friends, we no longer talk for hours about nothing at all. We've all changed. Some for the better, some for the worse. Some of us are finding love. And others are trying to let go. Even though we've all changed, we all know know that even though were all finding our own places in the world, that when we find out love, when we let go of love, when the tears fall, or the happy smile spreads across the face..We'll come to each other. Because no matter where this crazy world takes us and no matter what happens, lifes gonna come at you hard. And your gonna make mistakes. We all make mistakes. Do not regret, for we cannot change the past. Remember but never forget, for the past has made us who we have become. Do not dwell on the future, what is destined will be. In the end, none of this will matter. In the end, you too will see. People change, friendships end, dreams get crushed, but all in all, life goes on. This is what matters: family and true friends and being able to forgive everyone between. And guess what? You're not perfect. It's ridiculous to be perfect in anyway. But then, everybody is ridiculous at times, except perfect people. You know what perfect is? Perfect is not eating or drinking or talking or moving a muscle, or making the tinnest mistake. Perfect is never doing anything wrong. Which means, never doing anything at all. Perfect is boring. So your not perfect. Wonderful. Have fun. Let somebody laugh at you. Perfect people never do those things. All they do is sit around sipping tea, thinking about how perfect they are. You can drink pickle juice and dance like a gorilla and wear funny hats and be as imperfect as you want to be, and still be a good friend. Good friends are hard to find these days. And their a lot more fun than any perfect person any day of the week... Friends... Simple word, isn't it? Its uttered everyday to almost every person imaginable. Who are your friends? I used to think friends where the people you talk to, and laugh with. Now I know friends aren't like that, they're people who touch your hearts. You can spend hours with them doing nothing, and it be the best time of your life, just because its with them. Their people who you can share your secrets with, cry with, laugh with, and just have fun with. They don't judge you, or make you change. They accept you exactly as you are. They look at you and they see a great person, one they love spending time with. You share something in common and are tied together by memories, tears, laughs, and smiles. You are tied together by love for each other. Friendship is the strangest but greatest thing in the world. I find time with friends, best times of my life.  My friends are my heart, my soul, my fun, my laughter, my tears, my life. But why is it that we always fall for our bestfriends? Is it because we trust them, more than anybody else? Is it because we know them so well? Is it because they know exactly whats going on in our heads? Or is it because they are there anytime, any day, any where? Well. Nobody really knows why is it how it is. People are afriad of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People who talk about how great love is, but thats just a cloud of lies that keeps building up. Love can suck. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with their pain, if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something you carry, like a radio. You feel your strength with the expirence of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, your letting society destory reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain. If you let your society destroy your reality, you never know whats going to happen. Sooner or later you're gonna be dragging your feet on the ground, and stuffing your face with ice cream cause you let the pain get to you. Just lift up your head, look around and realize how lucky you are to have gotten where you are today. Put up the ice cream, put a smile on your face. And keep going. Take your past, and leave it there, because there's a reason it didn't make it to your future. Your past makes who you are. Be yourself and go out and have fun. Don't let anybody else tell you who to be.
You don't need permisson from anybody to be yourself. So go out, live your life. The power of individuality conquers all else...never forget to believe in yourself.

As Long As You Love Me

Yay! This is my first official blog. My Aunt inspired me to do this. So today I'm sitting at home while everyone is at school due to maybe a concussion from riding roller coasters? This past Labor Day weekend I went to San Antonio with my boyfriend (Blake) and his parents. We stayed in the Hyatt Hill Country. IT HAS A LAZY RIVER. It was pretty crowed though. But it was still fun! So we went to Six Flags Fiesta Texas and rode so many rides! But the next day I woke up with a huge migraine and getting sick on the side of the road coming back to Houston. :( So I'm sitting at home sick listening to "As Long As You Love Me" by Justin Bieber. I will be going to school around 1 because I need to go to cheer practice! Yay!